Welcome Home!
After a long summer hiatus, it feels good to be back home, here in Qatar.
This is one of our favorite spots; the beach in Al Wakra.
Inshallah, I will be posting more regularly now.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Welcome Home
Welcome Home!
After a long summer hiatus, it feels good to be back home, here in Qatar.
This is one of our favorite spots; the beach in Al Wakra.
Inshallah, I will be posting more regularly now.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
HOUSEMAID HORROR STORY
Well, don’t I feel like such a sucker. All of my Qatari friends (who have lived with housemaids their whole lives and are very good at understanding how to treat them) warned me that I was being too nice to my housemaid…Taking her on outings, letting her buy herself a mobile phone, paying her medical bills, buying her clothes when she needs them etc. They warned me that if I give her an inch, she will take a mile…
Well, it turns out they were more than right!
We got a knock on the door last night at about 11pm. It was the security guard of our compound (it’s like a gated community). He kindly apologized for bothering us, but he felt he had to inform us that he had just observed (not for the first time, either!) our housemaid, Norkaida, leaving the compound in a car full of Indian men!
Now, this is the Gulf; Arabia; The Khaleej. This is perhaps the most conservative society remaining on the planet when it comes to sex.
You have to understand that this kind of behavior is forbidden in this country, and especially in my household. It’s actually illegal in Qatar to commit fornication, and this is an offense that gets both men and women put in jail, perhaps beaten by the police, and ultimately deported.
A housemaid is especially restricted when it comes to what is acceptable behavior. She isn’t allowed to go anywhere unaccompanied. She must be accompanied when going from the house on outings by her sponsor (uhm, that would be ME).
I have gone over this rule many times with my housemaid. She always nods her head and says “yes madam, I understand, I will do as you say”.
I take her EVERYWHERE with me; Parties at my girlfriends’ houses, the mall to shop with me, to restaurants, everywhere. She is with me or a member of our family from the moment we wake up until I go to sleep.
Norkaida even told me in a conversation once, nonchalantly over tea while we were cooking together in my kitchen, that she became a housemaid because her family wanted her to get married. She decided that kind of thing was not for her; a man, babies, etc.
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.
Well, it turns out they were more than right!
We got a knock on the door last night at about 11pm. It was the security guard of our compound (it’s like a gated community). He kindly apologized for bothering us, but he felt he had to inform us that he had just observed (not for the first time, either!) our housemaid, Norkaida, leaving the compound in a car full of Indian men!
Now, this is the Gulf; Arabia; The Khaleej. This is perhaps the most conservative society remaining on the planet when it comes to sex.
You have to understand that this kind of behavior is forbidden in this country, and especially in my household. It’s actually illegal in Qatar to commit fornication, and this is an offense that gets both men and women put in jail, perhaps beaten by the police, and ultimately deported.
A housemaid is especially restricted when it comes to what is acceptable behavior. She isn’t allowed to go anywhere unaccompanied. She must be accompanied when going from the house on outings by her sponsor (uhm, that would be ME).
I have gone over this rule many times with my housemaid. She always nods her head and says “yes madam, I understand, I will do as you say”.
I take her EVERYWHERE with me; Parties at my girlfriends’ houses, the mall to shop with me, to restaurants, everywhere. She is with me or a member of our family from the moment we wake up until I go to sleep.
Norkaida even told me in a conversation once, nonchalantly over tea while we were cooking together in my kitchen, that she became a housemaid because her family wanted her to get married. She decided that kind of thing was not for her; a man, babies, etc.
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.
I feel so betrayed and angry.
My husband even had a long talk with her when she first began working for us, about how she’s forbidden to have a boyfriend(s), that she cannot go anywhere without us, etc. She nodded her head and said “yes sir, I understand, I will do as you say, no boyfriends and I don’t go anywhere alone”.
Blah blah blah, the short of it is this; we have proof that she has been sleeping around. This is more than a big problem.
As one of our favorite Qatari friends stated, this is more than a big mistake,
My husband even had a long talk with her when she first began working for us, about how she’s forbidden to have a boyfriend(s), that she cannot go anywhere without us, etc. She nodded her head and said “yes sir, I understand, I will do as you say, no boyfriends and I don’t go anywhere alone”.
Blah blah blah, the short of it is this; we have proof that she has been sleeping around. This is more than a big problem.
As one of our favorite Qatari friends stated, this is more than a big mistake,
this is a disaster!
She confessed to fornication with (at least) 2 men; I have proof that she has called (on my land-line, to mobile phones) over 40 men since she began living in our house to work for us as our Khedama.
God only knows what she’s been doing.
She confessed to fornication with (at least) 2 men; I have proof that she has called (on my land-line, to mobile phones) over 40 men since she began living in our house to work for us as our Khedama.
God only knows what she’s been doing.
So, I looked inside her mobile phone ( I'm so stupid for letting her have this). Inside the phone is the proof; She's been sending pictures of herself all sexy, posing in her underwear (that qualifies as pornography here). The list of transgressions seems neverending...
It really makes me wonder why she came here, and not Saigon or Bangkok? I guess that's just my anger talking. I'm pretty adrenalin-ized right now. 24 hours of it raging can make one delerious. Perhaps I should just call it quits and drink some chamomile tea and go to bed.
This all makes me so freaking angry. I haven’t slept in about 24 hours now. After the news last night we confronted her and she lied. Too many lies, lies lies lies.
It’s all over. I can never respect her or trust her ever again.
With the MERCIFUL and KIND advice of our dear Qatari friend who made us come to our senses from our cloud of anger and resentment, we decided not to have her arrested/jailed/beaten by the police.
With the MERCIFUL and KIND advice of our dear Qatari friend who made us come to our senses from our cloud of anger and resentment, we decided not to have her arrested/jailed/beaten by the police.
Instead, we will ask the immigration department to blacklist her and deport her. She will leave Thursday night, Inshallah.
I have so many emotions and thoughts racing through me;
I have so many emotions and thoughts racing through me;
Anger,
Resentment,
Betrayal,
...and most of all guilt for getting this job and for putting my sweet babies in the care of a
WHORE!
GOD, HOW COULD I BE SO BLIND?
Astaghfirlallah for my bad thoughts, and I seek refuge in God from the accursed Satan.
GOD, HOW COULD I BE SO BLIND?
Astaghfirlallah for my bad thoughts, and I seek refuge in God from the accursed Satan.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
WORKING IN QATAR
I heard recently that Westerners being hired to come to work in Qatar by the Asian Games 2006 are not being offered free housing, free electricity, or free water.
The people doing the hiring must work for a Western company that totally doesn’t understand how things work best in Qatar. I know the Qataris would take care of their workers; they always have, and I assume that they always will.
A British girl contacted us through the internet a few days ago, asking for advice about her job offer with the Asian Games 2006. They offered maybe a 5 % higher salary in an attempt to compensate for the housing benefits they were not going to provide for her.
These benefits have been the golden standard that have lured Westerners here for a very long time. These free benefits are a major part of what makes living in Qatar so wonderful for most Westerners.
I advise anyone offered a higher salary in an attempt to lure them to come to Doha, instead of these free housing benefits, not to come, unless it’s double the original salary offered (pretty rare).
The housing here is getting very expensive, even for Qatari nationals. A lot of my Qatari friends are waiting until after the Asian Games to start construction on their new houses, hoping that prices for construction labor will go back to normal. Inshallah.
Prices for everything are going up because of high rent.
It used to be, even a year ago, that getting furniture made by hand from the carpenters was more economical and of a higher quality than buying ready-made furniture. Not so now.Even the lowest of the low in Doha must pay rent, and they have to compensate for the rent increases somehow….so, it comes in the form of higher prices for their labor and products.
I heard also from this same girl offered the job with the Asian Games that they were telling her she could find nice housing for between QR 1,500-3,000. Now this girl is British….I doubt anything she can find at that price will suit her standard of living! She would have to live in the very poor squatter-town or else have 1 or more roommates to get this price.
Very misleading….Shame, shame, shame, on the Asian Games!
The people doing the hiring must work for a Western company that totally doesn’t understand how things work best in Qatar. I know the Qataris would take care of their workers; they always have, and I assume that they always will.
A British girl contacted us through the internet a few days ago, asking for advice about her job offer with the Asian Games 2006. They offered maybe a 5 % higher salary in an attempt to compensate for the housing benefits they were not going to provide for her.
These benefits have been the golden standard that have lured Westerners here for a very long time. These free benefits are a major part of what makes living in Qatar so wonderful for most Westerners.
I advise anyone offered a higher salary in an attempt to lure them to come to Doha, instead of these free housing benefits, not to come, unless it’s double the original salary offered (pretty rare).
The housing here is getting very expensive, even for Qatari nationals. A lot of my Qatari friends are waiting until after the Asian Games to start construction on their new houses, hoping that prices for construction labor will go back to normal. Inshallah.
Prices for everything are going up because of high rent.
It used to be, even a year ago, that getting furniture made by hand from the carpenters was more economical and of a higher quality than buying ready-made furniture. Not so now.Even the lowest of the low in Doha must pay rent, and they have to compensate for the rent increases somehow….so, it comes in the form of higher prices for their labor and products.
I heard also from this same girl offered the job with the Asian Games that they were telling her she could find nice housing for between QR 1,500-3,000. Now this girl is British….I doubt anything she can find at that price will suit her standard of living! She would have to live in the very poor squatter-town or else have 1 or more roommates to get this price.
Very misleading….Shame, shame, shame, on the Asian Games!
Monday, July 25, 2005
His Highness the Emir Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa al Thani
I wonder if the image of His Highness staring back at him from the window of my car had anything to do with the man I hit being so kind to me?
It's difficult to be rude with His Highness watching you, I suppose!
Alhumdulillah!
One more reason in a long list of reasons to adore Qatar's Emir!
Friday, July 22, 2005
QATARI MERCY
I had a fender bender today. I was looking for a parking space at Hamad Hospital, which is notoriously short on spaces to park (isn’t all of Doha these days?).
I was in a row of cars on the fourth level of the parking garage, searching for a space, when suddenly I saw on my left that a big Toyota Land Crusier was backing out and was headed straight for my door. I didn’t have time to think, I just reacted. I threw it into reverse to avoid certain injury when thump! I hit a car I couldn’t see that was waiting behind me!
I jumped out, totally expecting what in my culture would have been a normal reaction; for the guy to be angry, to say how stupid and careless I was, blah blah blah. Of course, he would demand my name, number and insurance information so that I would pay for his fender’s repairs.
This Qatari man’s actual behavior totally shocked me. Instead of yelling at me, he asked if I was ok, then refused to take my information. I pressed the point, insisting on exchanging insurance information, contact numbers etc. He refused.
Now, even the "kindest" American back in the States would insist on getting my insurance and contact information. Most likely, they would also try to sue me for (fabricated) "whiplash injuries" or "pain and suffering," or whatever else they and their lawyer could conjure up to convince the court that they deserve money out of me.
But what does the Qatari man do? He tells me “Halas, it’s finished. Your car’s damage is much worse than mine,” and politely excuses himself, blesses me (it’s a muslim courtesy to say “may the peace of God be with you,” a courtesy that I couldn’t believe he was granting me after I had just smashed his fender!!!!!), and drives away! Alhumdulillah!
The Qataris, both men and women, never cease to impress me by their kindness, graciousness, and generally impeccable adab (“manners”). This was just one example of Qatari mercy.
Mashallah, what a wonderful nation of people to have the opportunity to live and work with.
I had a fender bender today. I was looking for a parking space at Hamad Hospital, which is notoriously short on spaces to park (isn’t all of Doha these days?).
I was in a row of cars on the fourth level of the parking garage, searching for a space, when suddenly I saw on my left that a big Toyota Land Crusier was backing out and was headed straight for my door. I didn’t have time to think, I just reacted. I threw it into reverse to avoid certain injury when thump! I hit a car I couldn’t see that was waiting behind me!
I jumped out, totally expecting what in my culture would have been a normal reaction; for the guy to be angry, to say how stupid and careless I was, blah blah blah. Of course, he would demand my name, number and insurance information so that I would pay for his fender’s repairs.
This Qatari man’s actual behavior totally shocked me. Instead of yelling at me, he asked if I was ok, then refused to take my information. I pressed the point, insisting on exchanging insurance information, contact numbers etc. He refused.
Now, even the "kindest" American back in the States would insist on getting my insurance and contact information. Most likely, they would also try to sue me for (fabricated) "whiplash injuries" or "pain and suffering," or whatever else they and their lawyer could conjure up to convince the court that they deserve money out of me.
But what does the Qatari man do? He tells me “Halas, it’s finished. Your car’s damage is much worse than mine,” and politely excuses himself, blesses me (it’s a muslim courtesy to say “may the peace of God be with you,” a courtesy that I couldn’t believe he was granting me after I had just smashed his fender!!!!!), and drives away! Alhumdulillah!
The Qataris, both men and women, never cease to impress me by their kindness, graciousness, and generally impeccable adab (“manners”). This was just one example of Qatari mercy.
Mashallah, what a wonderful nation of people to have the opportunity to live and work with.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
What Is Islam?
In the name of God, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful.
Oh Allah, guide my words to express your Truth. If any of the following information is wrong, it is only my human error, not God's. Amen.
The practice of Islam; “the surrendering of one’s will to the will of God.”
The word “Islam” means to surrender; yield; to be at peace.
"Muslim;“a person who surrenders (his/her will to God alone)”.
“Muslims” ; “the people who surrender (their wills to God alone)”.
Qu’ran 3.19
Behold, the only (true) religion in the sight of God is (man’s) self-surrender unto Him; and those who were vouchsafed revelation aforetime took, out of mutual jealousy, to divergent views (on this point) only after knowledge (thereof) had come unto them. But as for him who denies the truth of God’s messages-behold, God is swift in reckoning!
Qu’ran 3:84- 85
Say: “We believe in God, and in that which has been bestowed from on high upon us, and that which has been bestowed upon Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and their descendants, and that which has been vouchsafed by their Sustainer unto Moses and Jesus and all the (other) prophets: we make no distinction between any of them. And unto Him do we surrender ourselves.”
For, if one goes in search of a religion other than self-surrender unto God, it will never be accepted from him, and in the life to come he shall be among the lost.
Qu’ran 3.20
Thus, (O Prophet,) if they argue with thee, ay, “I have surrendered my whole being unto God, and (so have) all who follow me!”-and ask those who have been vouchsafed revelation aforetime, as well as all unlettered people, “Have you (too) surrendered yourselves unto Him?”
And if they surrender themselves unto Him, they are on the right path; but if they turn away-behold, thy duty is no more than to deliver the message: for God sees all that is in (the hearts of) his creatures.
Qu’ran 29.46
And do not argue with the followers of earlier revelation otherwise than in a most kindly manner- unless it be such of them as are bent on evildoing- and say: “We believe in that which has been bestowed from on high upon us, as well as that which has been bestowed upon you: for our God and your God is one and the same, and it is unto Him that We (all) surrender ourselves.”
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